In thinking about this assignment, two things readily came to my mind as “teaching dilemmas” that I have encountered as an educator. The first of these is the “Muddling Through” aspect of being in the education and training field that Stephen D. Brookfield talks about in his book, “The Skillful Teacher”. I find that I feel the inadequacy he talks about in chapter one very often, and I really thought it was just me…that maybe I wasn’t quite cut out for the profession I had chosen and that I would just need to work harder at it than other, more skilled people in the field. It was good to hear that this happens to lots of people, and that I am not unique in that aspect. I can’t say I am okay with constantly feeling as though I am not good enough, but hope that I can at least find some ways to help me make those internal voices a little less convincing. I very often get these feelings when I get ready to do a front end analysis. I have doubts like, “Am I going to be asking the right questions? What if I ask the wrong questions and end up developing something that doesn’t meet the actual need? Am I sure I even know how to do this? What if I can’t think on my feet fast enough to adapt to whatever situation I might encounter?” and many others. I can definitely relate to the whitewater rafting analogy because the line you think is the best way downstream doesn’t always end up being the absolute best way because there happens to be a boulder right in the way that you couldn’t see or anticipate from up above, before you picked that line, and so you have to adjust and reevaluate your options at that point.
The second dilemma I deal with is when to help a student, and when to let them figure it out themselves. For example, when facilitating computer based training, frequently we have students that have no idea how to use a computer. We have books that walk them through the process step-by-step, and we encourage them to use the books. Occasionally, we have students that don’t want to read, they would rather have someone tell them what to do, or do it for them. I think it is beneficial to have these students figure it out for themselves because then it is more likely to stick and they will remember for next time they need to do training. Some students don’t use computers except for when they have to come and take our training, and so the books don’t make sense to them. It is hard to tell the difference between the two types of students, and so it is hard to know who to help, and who to encourage to just figure it out.
I think I will eventually get the “who to help” question figured out, but I think I will probably go to my grave with my own feelings of inadequacy, fighting those voices in my head that tell me I’m not capable of doing the job to an acceptable level.
